“Now, I’ve seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his jebend made my fallopian fish stock leach like Adele waiting for Greggs to open. After having my cum dumpster slammed, he then proceeded to fuck my poop chute. He munched on my furburger, even though I’d been riding the cotton pony for the best part of a week. My ladytown was trembling like jelly. I awoke the next morning with my stench trench still sliming. I thought it was over but his bald avenger had other ideas.”
—Fifty Shades of Brian
(Bored.)
I actually had someone come to me and ask to make their band a shirt. What do you guys think?
Chip Chipperson with a porn star or sumthin’.
If anyone is ever going to buy a shirt for my music, I think most people would end up buying this shirt.
Would you buy it? Even for me?
You’re not a slut until you fuck me.
You know what’s crazy about this image? Look really closely, I bet you can’t figure it out.
It’s a painting.
This is the most bullshit Photoshop I’ve ever seen in my life. First of all, I’m pretty sure the World Trade Center didn’t have balconies. Secondly, the date at the bottom is obviously shopped in there; you can see the slight pixelation around the numbers.
Thirdly… DON’T YOU THINK THEY WOULD HEAR THE FUCKING PLANE?
(via ayalam)
If masturbation were a career, I’d be a millionaire.
Hi, I shaved.
Choose Death - Sea Legs (PREVIEW)
I’m still roughing out the edges and working on stuff, but here is a preview of my song Sea Legs. It’s nothing and there’s no words (yet) but it’s the basic gist of the song. I just wanted to get something done, whether it’s slightly pathetic or not.
Today I make merch, tomorrow (or whenever it’s quiet in my house) I record!
